Mother’s Day, far away but really close, are the … – ANSA.it

(Alessandra Magliaro)

(ANSA) – Moms : to be and do even more is an acquired than a few generations ago, they are multitasking is a way to define them today, they are especially women who do not want to give up to be so fully while also having the role of mothers is it sometimes a little ‘indigestible for the other half of the sky. But meanwhile, are gearing: here moms Avatar , those come anywhere even if there are , those know all of the children even if their day is not It is home . In the days of the Mother’s Day , the recount in a book (Bur, necklace parenting) David and Laura Turuani Comazz the two psychotherapists longtime dealing with adolescents and Minotaur parents in the institute of Milan led by Gustavo Pietropolli Charmet.

” The term avatar is evocative – says Turuani in an interview to ANSA – contains a number of issues: someone who represents itself as a clone because the concern of not being present derives the iperorganizzazione. Actually we did not but we delegate nothing: they are grandparents or nanny to help us out, should represent us in all, dictate rules even on the brand of yogurt or type of park to take them after school. Avatar then emphasizes the technological means available today: we are in office but with whatsapp check what our girls fashio , establishing a symbolic closeness never happened in other eras. We chat with other moms, we fotocopiamo homework, receive photos of the votes and we have the electronic register to follow them every day. We have not but we are much more present than were our parents . Motherhood – underlines the Turuani – is no longer a fate of women but also a choice and not give up after the close relationship with the children: we can be bustling in many ways but a corner of the head in contact with them is always on ”.

According to the experience gained in the center but also the common feeling, the book shows how mom today arrive everywhere and with a sophisticated directing apparently distant but actually very close and loving relationship with a more profound than in past. The close connection is a novelty in recent decades and also includes fathers, ever so present but for the organization are mothers puppetry albeit at a distance.

Here, if anything, the problem comes from this very much love, parents, and especially mothers: for children if this bond-control is a positive element that builds their childhood doing avoid loneliness, adolescence this alleged autonomy, resulting from the absence of the physical mother, it is revealed in all his falsehoods. The connection also technology they grew our guys, ” a real umbilical cord that accompanied them until that age ”, as defined by Laura Turuani, ” becomes an obstacle for growth. The boys would need to separate for real, it is the age that demands it and that control becomes invasive, impediment. And it is here that the problems that we are therapeutically resolve: get frightened mothers who are no longer able to control even at a distance the children with whom chattavano until the day before and boys who would like to experience the independence of their age but do not have I never experienced nor did they get there with a growth path ”. So what is the right path: for moms avatar ” lay down their arms and technology to finally trust and autonomy to their teenage boys ”