It stands for Fear of missing out , that is, the fear of being left out, especially from what is happening on our social networks. It is an addiction that generates anxiety and that leads to the controller every few minutes away is happening to our contacts, for fear of losing some information, not to be updated, not to be left out of the continuous flow of news.
“It is not easy to recognize right away these unhealthy trends: the FOMO is a trap so inviting as devious in which our mind falls slowly, each day a little ‘more,” says life coach Alessandro Cozzolino. “Let’s start by saying that addictions are born from the refusal to accept, understand and live a pain, a diversity, a void, a silence. then they become a refuge to avoid suffering, to escape from a reality that is not as we would like it to be, to escape from painful thoughts that become too heavy to bear. “
” We dive into the ocean and then the social hoping to find someone or something to distract us from our inner discomfort. We believe that what is happening and will happen in the short online will be somewhat better than us what is happening now in real life and will make us happier. Too bad the real life is never either online or short, but always and only here and now. “
” Here it is not online, but in the true dimension tangible, real and concrete where we are. Now it is always now, and soon there will not feel better if we do not change our mental and behavioral attitudes so. But change requires a minimum of effort. It requires presence, responsibility and self-awareness. Too difficult. Easier to get on social: just click with a fingertip. Such laziness, leads us to close in on ourselves and we end up feeling alone, even when we are not alone.
<'p> The other side of the coin is FOMO constant dialogue between us and the others, often creates envy, more or less latent, because for example the others are enjoying the holidays and not us, since we are at work. Or maybe they are places to dream and we must be satisfied with the usual beach near the house. And in an instant click the sense of competition.“Envy is always born from the comparison. And the comparison generates so much pain free, “said the expert. “A photo of the sea or a toast among friends or a well served gastronomic dish means nothing in itself. Yet in the imagination of the viewer, open scenarios that others see as a happier and more fortunate. It’s just one of the many deceptions of our minds, we fakes “.
” We trust too often and too blindly what we think we see. And so we put in motion a series of perverse and disastrous mechanisms that work more or less like this: I see your shot in a heavenly place while I am in office working. I climb a huff and a crazy rage and then you know that I do? Tonight I’ll go in the ‘place’ of the city and the public the photos chicest aperitif that there may be to show you that even I enjoy it, I’m happy and carefree, just like you, and will be others to feel jealousy in my respect. “
” but tomorrow will be someone else to publish something else, that will make me feel inferior and unfortunate that I have to fix it. And so we return to the starting point. ” This relentless race to show how much you are happy and satisfied, finds fertile ground especially in summer. According to a global study of Hotels.com, during the holidays we remain more attached to our smartphones to our sun, spending about 3 hours a day on social. The purpose? To show off and be the envy of our contacts.
“Whatever anyone says, summer is particularly prone to unhappiness season. You have more free time, the days are longer and it warns that more needs to have fun and be happy at all costs, otherwise you’re a loser, a failure, “highlights the life coach. “So we look for in social someone who is unhappy over us or like us, in order to feel better, or at least not alone, but do not find it because no public their own photos pouting or post on your sad mood.”
“Online, we find mostly smiles, cheerfulness, laughter and fun, especially in summer, because – more than others – is the season of smiles, carefree, laughter and fun. For those who are unhappy and insecure, on balance, the seasons are not much difference: during the Christmas holidays will happen the same. ”
But what is behind this uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing this inability to disconnect from the virtuality? “It’s just a matter of unconsciousness and then unhappiness” says Cozzolino. “People are really happy in a genuine and authentic have no need to ‘post it’. Who is not happy is not only prone to spying, comment, judge, criticize and – why not – to spoil the happiness of others, but it is also in a sense satisfied in doing so, because it is the only way he knows to be less unhappy ” .
“Of course, it’s easier. In all my invitation to create, build and enjoy their own happiness, in many respond to me that it is difficult. And that’s the point: unhappiness is much easier to happiness. Anxieties, obsessions and addictions are easy. Happiness, serenity and inner peace requires training, practice, dedication. “One way to break the vicious circle of FOMO But there is, indeed there are 7. Here are the moves to do to really enjoy the summer without anxieties hi- tech.
1. Become aware that the company is only a game, a showcase, not reality
Social networks are born with the intention of creating bridges between people, not barriers. Do not allow your smartphone to separate you from who’s really close to you. Use the virtual reality only for what it is: a fun hobby! Real life is what you live, not the one exhibited. And when you have neither the desire nor the need to take refuge in any other reality other than the one you are experiencing, it means that you are living the right life: yours.
2. Plug in, but with yourself
Cut out as much time as you can to be with yourself, with whom it is with you, to read a book, take a walk, with no distractions of any kind, unless never that of a technological nature. What is it that scares you so much if you turn off your cell phone? Whatever the answer, you know that you will not find the solution, or salvation in an electronic device. More ignore what we face, the more we suffer. Whatever others write or publish on social, does not concern you. What concerns you’re just yourself. Others have nothing to do.
3. Choose to “follow” those who have something constructive to teach. It ignored everything else
There are pages and pages of people who have much to intelligently share, profound, constructive. It is a page on the DIY or spiritual themes, the beauty of the network is the ability to choose to learn something new and especially useful, as well as to rediscover traits of ourselves that maybe we were not fully aware. Always be sure to navigate with a smile and quit navigation knowing that he had learned something that has enriched you, excited. If you sense that that person or page that bothers you or does not leave you with a feeling of inner well-being, forget about it and “stop following” who is neither you nor your values.
4. Rediscover the POMO, or the pleasure of absence from the internet and the lives of others (real or virtual they are) and concentrate on your own, fully and consciously
yourself a great gift: think less of others and more to you. Others have no power over the quality of your life except what you grant them. Your life is no less beautiful or less fortunate. It’s just the result of what you think, say, and you do. Others have no faults nor merits. That’s why it is crucial to shift the spotlight from outside to inside of you. Whatever hotels in you did not need the approval or applause of anyone but yourself.
5. Boater real friends in the virtual ones
The “friends” are not the ones that bring you the “I like” but they are the ones who likes you even when you are posing, when you smile, when you eat sushi in the best restaurant in town. They are the ones who can tell people about having a day “no”, an argument with your partner, a problem in the office. You do not need to impress anyone pretending that everything always goes well. So much so, he does not believe anyone! And if you do not have real friends, maybe it’s just because “advertised” a different person from who you really are. Please, note for what you really are, not for what you think may have greater consensus.
6. Treat yourself to a true “vacation”, even from your usual habits
Use your vacation time to do everything you normally do not do. If the things that make you happy and the things you do not normally fit together, there is something that must change. Started to scale back the time and energy you spend glued to the phone. Take advantage of the summer break to explore new horizons. Find your way and pull out completely with the routine you are used to. Then see what happens.
7. Rediscover the pleasure of silence
the morning, just open your eyes and close them at night before – but also during the day – treat yourself to a little ritual everything for you: you welcome and embrace the silence, void, nothingness. They are the portals that lead you to yourself, to who you really are, your true essence. To most people, such a thing creates discomfort or fear, and this is perhaps because they stick to the smartphone as if it were a lifeline. What if the true salvation was within us?
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